Love You Always

By

Chiksunny

 

  The first time I set my eyes on her, I was hooked for life. Aarya was the loveliest girl I had ever seen. With her lustrous hair, brown eyes, straight nose, laughing lips and clear skin unravaged by artificial beauty aids, she set many male hearts fluttering. Studying in her final year of graduation, the vivacious 5'6" athlete had won many swimming competitions. It was at one such event that a mutual friend introduced us.

I have always been plain and simple. My modest bespectacled looks never drew second glances from the opposite sex. This had never bothered me before. But face to face with Aarya and I secretly wished that I had been blessed with striking features to complement my six-foot frame and reasonable intelligence. So when she invited me the following week for a house-warming party, I was pleasantly surprised.

Recently having qualified as a doctor, I got acquainted with more of my fraternity at her place, in addition to a young crowd and a group of elderly people- most probably, her parents’ friends.

The evening passed in a blur. I had eyes only for Aarya. Moulding delightfully in each group, she made everyone feel special. I was flattered when she sought me out for a second dance. Could she be more than a little interested in me? Intoxicated without any drinks, I reached home in a deliciously high stupor.

We met occasionally. She wished me on special occasions. I ignored the fact that she behaved this way with everyone. I felt quite at home with her parents and closer to them than my own. I loved the easy comradeship we shared and began to worship the ground Aarya walked on. 

The day she graduated, I proposed to her. She was stunned; she’d never really looked at me in that sort of way.

“I need some time to think about it,” she said, apologetically, her eyes not meeting mine. My shoulders drooped. I was sure it was all over.

The next morning she visited me.

“I accept,” she said, just like that. I was in seventh heaven.

I introduced Aarya to my parents. It was but natural that they liked her immensely.

We went to a secluded spot after an evening drive.

“I was confused. But dad told me to be realistic. Looks aren’t everything. You are a successful doctor. You don’t smoke or drink. I admire your simplicity and down-to earth approach towards life. Promise me you’ll remain this way always!” Aarya placed her hand over my arm in the most trusting sort of way. A heavenly scent drifted to my nostrils and I breathed in deeply. “It’s Estee Lauder’s Beautiful,” she remarked mischievously. At this point two things struck me: One, she came from an affluent background and two, she had herself admitted she knew I was no great shakes to look at and this fact did not bother her unduly. Suddenly, I wondered whether our marriage would work. Whether I would be able to provide her with the luxuries she was used to. Whether she would be happy in my modest home with my earthy parents, with whom I was never quite at ease.

“I promise,” I said sincerely.

We were married the next month. Aarya proved to be the most uncomplicated wife. Loving, caring and content with whatever we possessed, she managed our monetary front very well. My parents were in constant admiration for the way she handled the household. She surprised us with her delicious recipes. She never complained about anything. In fact, she became bubblier than ever.

We never ever celebrated birthdays in my family before. Now it was the in-thing. Subtly, Aarya established a beautiful bond between my parents and me. In her presence, I found new ways to live and enjoy life. In time we were blessed with a bonny boy. We named him Ishaan.

One weekend in the company of three other close families, we drove to Matheran. Horse riding, trekking, and swimming…we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves; we never had any notion of the disaster that was to follow.

We started the return journey quite late. I was tired. One minute my eyes were on the steep, sloping road and the next was an awful tangle of mass and limbs. I cannot recollect what actually happened, but my car had done a sudden somersault. I was stuck within my seat belt. Beside me, Ishaan was screaming. I desperately tried to locate Aarya in the jam of tiffin boxes and rucksacks but a funny stiffness in both my arms prevented me from moving them.

“Aarya… Aarya…?” I was scared. At least Ishaan seemed safe.

A few minutes later- minutes that seemed like hours, our friends came to our rescue. By that time I was beyond myself with apprehension. Why wasn’t Aarya answering?

I was aghast when the torchlight finally focused on her. She was slumped against the window. Our heavy travel case lay halfway across her shoulders and neck. There was an ugly crack on her forehead, which rang an impending doom in my ears. Blood flowed freely down her face but what troubled me most was the grotesque angle at which her head lay. Urgent calls were made to the nearest hospital.

My doctor friends brought Ishaan and me out. It took three persons to delicately carry Aarya in the stretcher.

I suffered minor injuries and Ishaan had a cut on his lips. It was bearable news.

***

I was devastated when they told me that Aarya was paralyzed below the neck. My sweet Aarya, the swimming nymphet, the charismatic girl who charmed all with her winning talks had lost the ability to speak. No longer could she call Ishaan or me in the special tone she assigned to us. No longer could she call anyone else for that matter. Her head was swathed in a crisp white bandage. A jagged injury line from her left lip upwards to disappear beneath the hairline marred her once flawless face. She could not move her limbs. I shut my eyes, willing this to be a bad dream. But it was a fact. Reality is very harsh.

Aarya was in the hospital on ventilators for six months. She could only move her head. Expert doctors tried everything possible for her recovery. Her parents, relatives, well-wishers, hospital staff and I pooled money to meet the expenses.

“It’s a highly complicated case,” said the surgeon one day. “I think we may have to ask you to take her home.”

“But she’s well-cared for over here. All this cannot be managed at home.” I was shocked at his sudden announcement.

“All our efforts so far have not helped her regain her health. She is the same as she was six months ago. We did all we could, but I am sorry.” The doctor’s words were final.

“But if the ventilators are detached…won’t she…?” I hated to speak further.

“ She may pass away…slowly and quietly. Or she may carry on.” His voice was apologetic.

“But won’t that amount to murder?” I was livid with rage at his suggestion.

“Or… mercy killing?”

I stood beside Aarya’s bed, looking down at her. Rousing out of her nap almost immediately, she smiled in her lively way. Amazing, how her mind instantly recognized I was near. It had been this way since the past two months. She was on liquid diet. She had suffered bedsores and recovered from them. But she had not lost the urge to laugh or observe life from her enclosed world. I almost envied her.

“Look, Aarya,” I started. This was a tough job. It was a crime.

“Aarya, we have to remove those tubes.” I stopped. I could not go on.

She looked at me. Trustingly. And nodded her head.

I could not bear it. What was I doing? Killing her?

“Aarya, look at me! Once you’re off the ventilators, you have to breathe on your own. You have to live. For me. For Ishaan. Will you do that?” I choked on my words.

She seemed surprised at my outburst. She did not realize the gravity of her condition. How could she? No one had ever told her.

In the morning, when the tubes were removed, I clutched at her useless hands. Our parents and relatives huddled together. The doctor and lawyer were present. Her breath came in spurts. Then steadied. She fell asleep. Her breathing continued.

I sat looking at her. For some time. By evening I had lost the will to live. The doctor arrived. He checked and rechecked.

“The beats are normal,” he said in a funny puzzled voice. I was overjoyed. Aarya had listened to the appeal of my heart. She would live...

We brought Aarya home and arranged for a round-the clock nurse. My parents never complained at the extra work.

One year passed. Ishaan was proving to be difficult. He could not understand why Aarya did not do things like preparing food, accompanying him to school, telling him stories…the list was endless. Often he would pour his heart out to her. I watched Aarya’s dejected face during one such rambling. It tugged at my heartstrings. I had to do something.

An external voice box was fitted to aid Aarya voice her words. The sound emerged robotic. It felt better to hear her speak in this manner than not at all. 

A fortnight later, Aarya advised me to get married. I was taken aback at such a suggestion.

“Your parents are not getting any the younger. Ishaan is proving to be a handful. If you marry, your wife can take care of him.”

Shweta and I were married at a solemn affair, with due consent of my parents and in-laws. We had already explained the circumstances to Shweta and she had agreed to give top priority to Ishaan.

Somehow nothing seemed the same any more. Whenever I entered Aarya’s room, her eyes would seek me out as always, lighting up whenever I spoke to her. But I had started feeling guilty. I had caused the accident- the accident, which had robbed Aarya of her ability to talk, walk and move about freely. But she never blamed me for the incident. I had married a second time. And she had advised me to do so. Alone with Shweta, I always felt uncomfortable. And back in her room, Aarya would greet us warmly. No one had the right to be so good. If only she would complain, question, accuse…!

Three years passed. Aarya had learnt to paint, holding the brush in her mouth. She did portraits and modern art. Ishaan’s homework was now her self-accepted responsibility. She enjoyed her physiotherapy exercises. She became mobile on a special wheel chair monitored by the nurse. She became computer-savvy. I spent most of my evenings with her. She astonished me with heart-felt love poems and the latest news. She had learnt to utilize all her time. She drove the nurse crazy with her zest for life.

One day, we were watching a movie on the television. The hero’s car plunged headlong into a deep ravine and… Aarya’s face contorted, as if in pain. I rushed towards her. Her eyes widened. She wanted to speak, but no words came forth. I barked an emergency to the hospital on my mobile.

 Aarya collapsed before any help could be availed. I tried giving her artificial respiration, but it was no use.

She had passed away.

As I lifted her frail body, I could not control the sobs that racked mine. Death had snatched her away very young before she could fully enjoy life’s sweetness. She had taught us a valuable lesson- Smile and don’t give up even when everything goes dead wrong.

Copyright©Chiksunny@Sulekha2007